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Look at all those boxes!   Surely there is something clever we can do with those…..   This year as you know we added two Daisies to our troop, we started to work on Journey books at our mee…

Source: Using Resources Wisely – Cookie Cases – Re-Blogged

Hello! I’m Sommer. I like to write things. Drink coffee. Ponder. Write more things. I am a practitioner of mindfulness. And I write about it. I am a mother. And I write about that too. I was also dealt quite the hand. A Royal Flush, with Anxiety and Depression as my Ace and King. I’ve managed, through exhaustive practice, to pull them out of the deck. I still have the cards though. I’ve accepted that. I also write about that. Enjoy the read, stop over at the blog if you dig it! I will go put on a pot of coffee!

They are Watching Us

By Sommer, TheGreenGlasses.com

I’m taking a cultural communications class. If we just focus on the amount of work associated with it then it would be an absolute nightmare. The content itself is intriguing though. Especially the content centered around ‘self’. Or rather family. The epicenter of culture is family. This is where we get the tools needed to go out in the world and build a house. Our values, our beliefs, our behaviors. If you think globally then you’re like “duh, Sommer” but what if you pull out your mega magnifying glass and really look at what you do, when you do it, and how you do it. It comes from family. My preferred choice of peanut butter, the way I fold laundry, make a bed, prepare a meal. At the very center of me is my family. I could examine myself for days; peering into my values, beliefs and behaviors.

But what I am really thinking about are my kids. I am their family. I am their center. What I do now will carry forth into their adulthood. It might not manifest into a peanut butter choice. But it will manifest into how they view the world and its people. And it’s exciting! When I set off to have children this was NOT at the forefront of my mind. And honestly I don’t know what was driving that boat. I only knew I wanted to be a mother. But here I am. I have two growing minds at my fingertips. Every action and reaction is being cataloged by them. And to some, and even myself at times, this may seem like a massive and scary responsibility. But to me, it seems fun, an opportunity to help create two amazing adults who will navigate the world. I am not their only influence and I know that. But I am their mother.

I’ve touched on it before. Do as I do rather than do as I say. They are watching us. They need to see us succeed and fail, be happy and sad, overcome challenges, have bad days and good. They need the full spectrum. They need to know we aren’t perfect. Because they aren’t perfect. And neither of us ever will be. They need to see us having a bad day but still being courteous to the cashier at the grocery store. They need to see us mad at them but still comforting them with affection. How we treat them and others will be the foundation for how they treat themselves and those they encounter.

Now would be a good time to step back, pause, and take a good long look at how you behave. How you speak of other people, of other religions, races, cultures, political beliefs. How you generalize. How you treat the janitor versus how you treat the CEO. Are you condemning those that are different than you? Or are you respecting the differences? Are you really listening to them while looking at your phone? Are you teaching them to learn by words or by actions? Are you placing value on possessions or moments? Are you allowing them to experience music that is different from your preference? Books? People? Are you trying new things together?

What will be their view of family? What does their cornerstone look like?  If you take a snapshot of today and examine it, what does it really look like? Do you need to adjust the sails? I know I do.

Are you fully aware of your audience when you rise upon your soapbox at the dinner table or while watching the news? If you are the epicenter of your children then know they are soaking it all up. All of it. Even your peanut butter choice.

I hope you enjoyed this post I reached out to Sommer to guest post as I read her blog constantly and resonate with so much that she talks about. Life is hard sometimes we just need to see (read) that we aren’t alone and how other humans handle it. So do yourselves a favor and follow https://thegreenglasses.com/  …… and thank you Sommer you can guest post any time you want! 

It’s coming to that time of year again, it always hits me and for a week before I just can’t function right; maybe this will help.

May 9, 2010 was Mother’s Day that year.  We were at my ex husband’s family’s house after just laying his Grandfather to rest.  We got up and was ready to head to my family’s house to spend the day with Mom and Gram.  I get a text from my brother…”Gram was having trouble breathing they are at the hospital”  I text back if it was ok we would drop the kids off at the house with him and Mom and go straight to the hospital.  It seemed like it took forever to get my family in the car.  I was worried but reassured everyone she would be ok….she had to be.  Half way to Akron from Orrville (maybe 20 minutes) I get another text from Ben…..”just come to the house” ….. my heart sank, something was wrong ,,,,we were going to the house first why a text to come straight there? Oh my god…..I replied….”ok”.

We pull into the drive way of the house I grew up in, raised by these amazing people I had the privilege of calling MY grandparents when I see him……Ben this tall 24 year old kid who never knew anyone other than my grandparents as Mom and Dad, bawling in the middle of the drive way waiting for me.  I whispered “she’s gone” and ran to him.  This is the moment I remember every time I pull into the drive way, even today.  

So much happened that week my Mom left the day of the funeral with my sister and her family to live with them. I felt like we didn’t get to say goodbye to her. (she came to live with us a short time later).  I helped Grandpa with the bills, calling  all the doctors  to let them know she passed away, dealing with insurance.  I stayed there a week while my daughters were with my ex and his family.  I hated leaving him to go back to my life in Columbus, he was now alone…..his wife of over 50 years gone, his daughter who they took care of the last 24 years gone and now I had to leave.  Ben would visit every day and make sure he was eating and eventually took over the bills for him since he is there.  It was all just a process and six years later things are ok. BUT not a day goes by not a decision I make or mistake I pay for I’m not thinking what would Gram had told me to do. 

I could go into how hard it had to be for her, raising her daughter all over again and her three kids when she should have been retiring and traveling the world with Gramps, but that would be a super long post because she sacrificed everything for us. I was lucky enough to know her for 34 years even more lucky that when I became an adult I could talk to her about everything she wasn’t just my Gram, she was my Mom and my friend.   We learned to not sugar coat things and even laughed because the look I get, that look Phoebe gets when we hear or see something stupid?? Yeah I got that from her….she gave me that look more times than I can count…haha.

I miss her, I miss calling every time I needed real advise, I miss her telling me not to be a “fool”, I miss her telling saying I love you.  Because the one thing she taught me is that true real love is out there.  The love that she and Gramps shared was true love, they would never give up on each other and always made us kids feel that epic love.  

In the six years she has been gone, Ben has gotten married and had two beautiful children.  I got divorced and moved but stayed in Columbus.  We lost two cousins entirely too soon, family weddings and babies all over the place.   Things have never been the same, our extended families have sort of drifted but we are trying to stay together.  Ben, his family, Gramps, the girls are I are together every chance we get that bond will only get stronger.  

My only regret is that I never truly got to say goodbye, I love you Gram.